Sexuality, Collaboration, and Revolution

    A few posts ago I talked about wanting to include women in the writing process. The problem was, I hadn’t been able to connect with enough women socially to have a large enough talent pool from which to draw the quality I need. 

    This goes more into that.

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    The root of the problem is sexuality. 

    Sexuality gets mixed in with work and I keep the two very separate. 

    I’m in love with my wife who is amazing and supportive and I’ll never cheat on her. The reason I’m not going to cheat on her is not because I feel like I owe her, which I do, or because of the promise I made to her on our wedding day. It’s not even because I don’t want to hurt her and my cheating would definitely hurt her. 

    The reason I don’t want to cheat is because I really don’t want to.

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    As I grow as a human, I gain empathy. That began with the realization that the logic that got me to a specific philosophical conclusion may not be the same logic another person needs to get them to the same conclusion. The reason for that is because we humans start at different places, largely determined by our experiences.

    That epiphany stopped most of my arguing with people. What was the point? They needed to find whatever vital truth of their lives on their own. My telling them wouldn’t make them see it. They wouldn’t see it until they were ready. I’m sure there are truths out there that I can’t see and I won’t see until I’m ready.

    That idea, of different starting points radically changed the way I see the world and in so doing, changed the way I interact with others. It also changed the way I judge the world.

    Then I got married.

    I started to listen to the woman now in my life. I started to hear about her struggles. I started to see how much more she labored to get the same amount of work done. She has to be pretty. She has to struggle with menstruation. She is physically smaller than I am.

    And then, while filming ALGORITHM, Serafina Kernberger showed me more. She told me that women were being subjugated, getting less pay and less power in business. Not just movies. All business. Women may have equal rights according to the law, but it doesn’t play out that way.

    Serafina exposed me to sexism.

    If a country has a king and a queen, the king is in charge. If a man and a woman get married, it’s normal for the man to be the decision maker. The man goes off to the prestigious job while the woman stays home and takes care of the kids. (Raising children is a vital job and is probably more responsible for determining the way the future looks than any other single factor.)

    When women do go to work, they’re almost never the boss. When they are at work, they get less pay and often have to deal with sexual harassment. Most women on the planet, women you probably know, have been afraid for their lives in the past week. Many of them, in the past 3 days!

    My love for my wife compels me to act on this. I can’t sit by while a world abuses her. I won’t stand for it. I will change the world in whatever way I can, for her sake.

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    I want to work with women. I don’t have any women friends. Acquaintances, but no friends.

    When I have had women friends in the past, sex became an issue. Sometimes on my side, but more often, coming from them. Whenever I feel sex becoming an issue, I back away. I’m on this world to change it and anything that gets in the way of that revolution has to go.

    If you don’t see the conundrum there, let me make it clearer.

    I want to change the world and make it better for women. But, to do that, I have to work with women. When I work or interact with women, sexuality becomes an issue, which distracts me from changing the world.

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    I met Lexi Alexander a few months ago, someone on Twitter said she was their favorite director. I found Lexi on Twitter and befriended her. Lexi is awesome. She is strong, smart, opinionated and intelligent enough to defend her opinions. Lexi helped me connect with more hackers and that really helped ALGORITHM’s become successful.

    I want to work with Lexi. Sexuality hasn’t come up at all and I hope it never does. I want to work with Lexi on Intelligent Design, for the reasons I mentioned above. She’s capable and she’s a women and I want to show the world women can do almost all jobs just as well as men. (There are some jobs that require physical strength and men can be stronger than women can be. But, those jobs are very rare, and getting rarer thanks to technology.)

    Lexi hasn’t had time to meet with me so I can pitch her on Intelligent Design. She’s too busy directing TV episodes.

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    I met another woman, a friend of Lexi’s, Maria Giese. Maria’s an activist, like Lexi, like me. She’s taking on the sexism at the Directors’ Guild of America. And she’s right to do it. The level of sexism in the DGA is appalling. Lexi live-tweeted one meeting and I was really pissed at the end.

    Maria’s got her work cut out for her. She’s fighting a battle against an entrenched enemy on their home territory.

    Anyway, Maria has a website that’s been hacked 3 times this week. I asked her if I could help her and I ended up walking her through how to secure a website. (It should go without saying that there is no way to make a website completely secure. The smartest people in the world can’t do it. But, there are ways to make hacking into it more work than it’s worth.)

    I called up Maria and gave her some tips. She was really grateful. She specializes in writing, it seems. And if that’s the case, I’m hoping she’s not part of the Writers’ Guild of America, because Intelligent Design isn’t going to be a guild shoot. I have to work with SAG, but that’s it. And the moment I don’t have to work with SAG, I won’t.

    If Maria isn’t WGA, I’ll check out more of her work and maybe invite her on board. I should probably talk to her about all of this before I post it, but the point of this blog is to show as much as possible and enable others to do what I’m doing.

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    The previous Empowering Women post ended with me deciding that I was going to write all of Intelligent Design on my own, except what Wallace was willing/able to do, and even there it would be co-written. I felt like I didn’t have enough women in my social circle. That’s changing. Maybe I’ll be able to work with them as writers too. I don’t know. But, I hope so.