It feels a bit false writing two journal entries in one day. That’s right. Yesterday’s entry was written this morning. But, since it was before any of today’s work was done, I suppose it’s technically a valid entry. Also, I don’t want to repeat the mere two entries a week of last week.
* * *
I wrote Bitchan’s Kickstarter interview. It feels true to her character, but, like yesterday’s, there’s something wrong with it. I don’t think these women like being interviewed. Or, they just don’t like me. My fear is that they’ll come off as unlikable. Of course, the fact that I have crafted them to simply not like me may make them feel all the more genuine. That emotion is doubly true with Bitchan, since she’s usually quiet and reserved, only interjecting facts when necessary. So, when I ask her emotion-based questions, she gets kind of annoyed.
Of course, the whole thing could just be a strange projection of my subconscious, though what it might mean is a total mystery.
* * *
My brother, Paul, is friends with a woman who does casting for some mid-range budget movies you might have heard of. Last week he mentioned that he’d put me in touch with her. I know I could use the advice. Last week, during the Film Independent interview I did, I felt like I didn’t even know what questions to ask. I feel the same way with the CD (short for Casting Director). I hope I’m able to at least convey the feeling of where I’m at and that she’ll let the information flow.
The problem is, I’m so used to doing everything on my own that the logistics of working with other people, the proper lingo or social mannerisms, they are totally foreign to me. The weird thing is, I know what I do works, so there’s no real compelling motivation for me to change. Except, that I really do want to collaborate with more people during TRK than I did with HUNGER.
* * *
I finally figured out how to get Excel to take numbers from one sheet and add them up on another sheet. That bit of information helped me get an accurate, but approximate budget of the movie. It’s $38,105. That number scares me. I seriously doubt I’ll be able to raise that much. And, if I don’t, I have no idea what I’ll do next.
The logic of crowdfunding is that the numbers are entirely based on the size of one’s social network, not necessarily limited to Twitter, Facebook, etc. I’ve had the casting call on spiritusvult.com for over a week now and I’ve only gotten three responses.
My first response to those numbers are that my social network isn’t nearly enough to raise $44k ($2k for unforeseen problems and $4k to compensate for the 10% Kickstarter takes (I haven’t even taken into account the perks in the Kickstarter campaign, which would put the number considerably higher)).
My second thought is that those numbers only reflect the number of actors who want to be involved and don’t represent the number of actual people who would give money to the campaign. For that I have no metrics except to add all the people I have together, which is a nearly useless metric.
So, it’s either going to take divine intervention, or some serious engineering, to even come close to $44k. Yeah, that is daunting.
* * *
I hand-delivered the script to Miles last week. He sent me a tweet that he was reading it on his flight to Toronto International Film Festival, on Friday. He got back yesterday and I still haven’t heard a single word from him. As an artist, my first response is that he thinks it sucks and wants nothing to do with it. My rational side tries to balance that with the fact that Miles is a very, very busy man, who is in the middle or running a social media campaign for a major independent film that is being released this week, or in the near future.
And then my emotional side kicks in again and says, “If he really loved it, he’d have already contacted you, no matter how busy he is.” I don’t have a really good rebuttal for that, except to be in some kind of denial and think that while Miles said he was going to read it on his red-eye flight across the country, he got distracted by something else, or fell asleep.
My rational response is to contact him and ask him. It would resolve all my questions. But, would it come off as desperate or pushy?
My solution is going to be to resist all the howls of my inner-demons and give Miles another week to respond. Such is the life of an artist in business.